Why I cry Part I
Mood:  sad
Topic: Why I Cry
Some people look upon me with envy and want my life, others the opposite. It just seems that everyone thinks I have the ideal life. So wonderful and that I have it all together. I try to never let my self down in front of others giving me the independent appearance and the strong appearance. People don't see me as a cry-baby in other words. I amd not ugly, but I am not ideal, so on the rare occasion. some would love to look like me. I am smart (or at least in the smart classes). I am athletic kinda, and I am good at swimming. I am musically talented at both flute and piano and can play various other instruments like the harp. On theoutside I look like a devoted perfect girl. I seem to have everyone and everything going for me. But that is on the outside. On the inside I am torn. I want to have a good life, but I always end up crying my self to sleep. I seek to do what God wnts, but I just feel like I am stuck in a pit hundreds of feet underground with no one to help me out. I have 'friends' but I still feel lonely. I don't feel truly accepted anywhere. And when I try to fit in, they don't want me. I'm just a misfit, no one wants me, even at my church. I am still an outcast. Its because I am the pastors kid. I cant be cool but I cant be a dunce. One of the youth made fun of me because I 'pray' better than her. They tell my parents every little thing I do. AND I can't defend myself because it always makes the situation worse. SOMEBODY! Here my plea for help and get me out of this pit ofd despair! Please!!!

Someone to talk to
Mood:  blue
Today is my first entry. Why would I of all people want a blog? Because I am lonely. I have no one to tell my life to. And if they do listen, they don't really care or understand. I want somebody out there to UNDERSTAND me. Not just listen, but truly have concern for me. There must be somebody, and I want to tell that somebody. First though, you must know who I am. You can just call me Raciel. I am an 8th grader and go to our districts Junior High. I am definetly on the lower end of the popularity chain, but nobody is too rude to me. The life I lead is a very busy one. I am on a swim team thats meets 3 to 4 times a week, have piano lessons once a week, have homework every night, and I am actively involved in my church. This leaves me nearly no time to myself really. That may not sound like a lot, but when you hear more about them, it becomes very busy. Thie swim team I am on meets for 2 hours every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and sometimes Monday or Wednesday. Piano practing takes up at least an hour everyday and my lesson is 45 minutes every thursday. As for school, I take Honors English, Honors History, TWO years advanced math, gym, Band, and science though they don't offer it advanced. That provides plenty of work to keep me busy for days. And as for church, there is the hours on Sunday and Wednesday, but also the hour long or weekend long events scattered throughout the year. But in each of those is heartbreak and triumph. Lately though, it all seems like heartbreak. Thank you for reading this and check out my topical blogs.

~Raciel~